As much as there is a certain shame in doing this, I'm just going to indulge myself in discussing the latest internet meme:
balloonboy. While I am at it, I may as well indulge my tendency as a US American to demonstrate my sense of entitlement to share what "should" happen as a result of this quasi-tragedy.
The central question is: "should charges be filed?"
The simple answer is: "yes". As a matter of fact, if the US justice system is worth even a fraction of what we pay for it (it isn't, and no danger of this occurring anytime in the foreseeable future), what follows is EXACTLY the charges which will be filed:
1)
Falcon Heene
Charged with: "Being a six year old" (represents the result of a plea arrangement whereby charges of "contributing to the delinquency of ones parents: accessory after the fact" were dropped in exchange for the testimony, "You guys said that we did this for the show."
Results: In an ironic twist, Falcon has been sentenced to star in a reality show. Adding additionally to the irony, the show will not focus on his family, nor his balloon antics, but rather on his capacity to vomit on command. It will be cancelled in the second season, setting Falcon up to be a house guest on a future season of The Surreal Life.
2)
Richard Heene
Charged with: "Committing an act of Americanism." Originally, there was to be a second charge of "use of a child in the commission of an act of Americanism", but it was never filed in consideration of how much funnier that whole "box" episode made this meme.
Results: As expected, Mr. Heene took this case to trial where he was not only found guilty of the original charge, but had 23 charges of perjury added. Mr. Heene has been sentenced to live out the rest of his natural life in a strip mall-infested patch of mountain town suburbia. Amnesty International is hoping to get his sentence commuted to something more humane such as lethal injection.
3)
Sheriff Jim Alderden
Charged with: "Impersonating a law enforcement stereotype."
Results: Charges were subsequently dropped when the prosecution failed to collect enough evidence that the Sheriff was impersonating instead of actually
being the stereotype.
4)
the US media
Charged with: "Irrelevance"
Results: Sorry, we can't give you the results because first you have to wade through all the pre-trial, post-trial, live coverage, etc. But we can't even start that until we have a catchy theme and graphic for the lead-in.
FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!
5)
NORAD, the FAA, et al.
Charged with: no charges as of this time
Results: Once a people's court (a real one, not a "reality" one) can be convened, these organizations will be charged with "conspiracy to appear legitimate."